28 Quotes by Bob Hope
- You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
- You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
- When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
- You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
- When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
- The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
- The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
- The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
- I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
- They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
- People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
- Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
- If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
- If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
- If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
- She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
- Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
- I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
- I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
- A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
- A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
- I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
- I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
- I have too much money invested in sweaters.
- I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
- I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
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