Quotes by Carol Burnett

• Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
• You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
• My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
• You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
• My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
• My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
• Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.
• We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
• Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
• When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
• It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
• I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
• Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
• Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
• I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
• Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
• But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
• But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
• Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
• Comedy is tragedy plus time.
• Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
• I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
• I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
• It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
• When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go
• Life is like a roll of toilet paper, no matter how close you think you are to the end, there's always more to unravel.