Quotes by Doug Larson

• The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
• Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
• Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.
• Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
• The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
• The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
• The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
• The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
• There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
• The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
• Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
• There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
• Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.
• Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
• The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
• Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
• To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
• A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
• A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
• Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
• A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
• Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
• Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
• Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
• A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
• More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
• For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
• If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
• If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
• If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
• Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
• Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.