Quotes by Florence King

• Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
• Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.
• True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories.
• Time has lost all meaning in that nightmare alley of the Western world known as the American mind.
• The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
• People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they're all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error.
• In social matters, pointless conventions are not merely the bee sting of etiquette, but the snake bite of moral order.
• I'd rather rot on my own floor than be found by a bunch of bingo players in a nursing home.
• He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.
• Americans worship creativity the way they worship physical beauty - as a way of enjoying elitism without guilt: God did it.
• American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.
• Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.