Quotes by Jackie Mason

• It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
• Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?
• Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
• If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.
• It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.