Quotes by Jay Mohr

• I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
• I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
• You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.
• Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
• When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
• Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
• True Yankees are born, not made.
• Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.
• If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
• I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
• I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
• Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
• If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.
• I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.