Quotes by Joe Lewis

• I always wake up at the crack of ice.
• I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
• I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
• Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.
• Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
• Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
• It pays to get drunk with the best people.
• It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
• If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor.
• There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
• I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
• They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
• I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
• I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
• I drink to forget I drink.
• I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
• I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
• Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
• A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
• I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
• We can afford almost any mistake once.
• Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
• You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
• You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
• The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.