Quotes by Joe Rogan

• To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.
• Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.
• If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?
• Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.
• The Comedy Store in LA, it's a really loose room and it's really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.
• Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken.
• When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.
• The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
• The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
• I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
• I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.
• I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
• I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.
• Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.
• Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.
• Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.
• If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.
• It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.
• It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
• My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.
• Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.
• Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
• People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.
• After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.
• That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
• The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.
• If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.
• I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
• I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.
• I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
• People for the most part can smell lies.