18 Quotes by John Barrymore

• A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
• You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.
• Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
• America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
• Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
• You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
• When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.
• You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.
• The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.
• My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.
• My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.
• In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.
• If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
• Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
• I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.
• I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
• I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
• Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

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