46 Quotes by Laurence Peter
- Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
- A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
- A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
- A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
- A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
- Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
- America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
- An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
- As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
- Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
- The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
- Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
- Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
- Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
- Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
- Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
- The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
- The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
- The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.
- Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
- When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
- Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
- You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
- Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
- Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
- Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
- Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
- Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
- Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
- Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
- Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
- It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
- If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
- In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
- Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
- Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
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