Quotes by Lenny Bruce

• Communism is like one big phone company.
• Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
• Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
• When you're eight years old nothing is your business.
• There are never enough I Love You's.
• The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
• The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
• The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
• Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
• In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
• I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
• I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
• The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.