Quotes by P. Wodehouse

• Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.
• Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
• The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
• There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
• To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
• Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
• She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
• He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
• She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
• Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
• It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.
• It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
• I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
• I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
• He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when!"
• Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
• Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
• Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
• Flowers are happy things.
• Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
• Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.
• Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.
• I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.