Meaning: The quote is from American author Joyce Maynard, known for her memoir "At Home in the World" and her novels, including "Labor Day" and "The Good Daughters." In this quote, she reflects on her relationship with celebrated author J.D. Salinger, best known for "The Catcher in the Rye." Maynard had a highly publicized relationship with Salinger, who was much older than her, and it is clear from the quote that the relationship had a profound impact on her.

In this quote, Maynard reveals that she actively avoided speaking and thinking about Salinger, and she did not revisit the letters he had written to her. She describes the experience as "too painful," indicating the emotional toll that her relationship with Salinger took on her. The quote suggests that Maynard experienced a significant amount of emotional distress as a result of her involvement with Salinger, and her decision to avoid revisiting their correspondence indicates a desire to distance herself from that pain.

Joyce Maynard's relationship with J.D. Salinger began in the 1970s when she was a college student at Yale University. At the time, Salinger was a reclusive and highly revered literary figure, known for his enigmatic persona and his iconic novel "The Catcher in the Rye." Maynard's relationship with Salinger, which lasted for about a year, brought her into the public eye and had a lasting impact on her personal and professional life.

Maynard's decision to avoid speaking and thinking about Salinger, as expressed in the quote, sheds light on the complex emotions and challenges she faced as a result of their relationship. The pain she experienced is evident in her words, and it speaks to the lasting impact that the relationship had on her. By choosing to distance herself from reminders of Salinger, such as his letters, Maynard demonstrates a need to protect herself from further emotional distress.

The quote also provides insight into the power dynamics at play in Maynard's relationship with Salinger. As a young and relatively inexperienced writer, Maynard was thrust into the world of a literary giant, and the imbalanced nature of their connection likely contributed to the emotional turmoil she experienced. Salinger's status as a revered and enigmatic figure may have added an additional layer of complexity to their relationship, further complicating Maynard's feelings and experiences.

Maynard's decision to share her thoughts on her relationship with Salinger through this quote demonstrates her willingness to confront and process the emotions and challenges that arose from that period of her life. By acknowledging the pain she experienced and her efforts to avoid revisiting it, Maynard offers a candid and vulnerable reflection on a significant chapter in her personal history.

In conclusion, Joyce Maynard's quote provides a glimpse into the emotional aftermath of her relationship with J.D. Salinger. Her decision to avoid speaking and thinking about him, as well as her reluctance to revisit their correspondence, speaks to the profound impact that the relationship had on her. Through her candid reflection, Maynard invites readers to consider the complexities of human connection and the lasting effects of intimate relationships, especially those involving imbalanced power dynamics.