Love is the terrible secret people are suspected of unless they're married, then one always suspects they don't.

Profession: Author

Topics: Love, People,

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Meaning: The quote "Love is the terrible secret people are suspected of unless they're married, then one always suspects they don't" by Jane Rule encapsulates the complex and often contradictory attitudes towards love and marriage in society. Jane Rule, a Canadian writer known for her exploration of lesbian themes and her advocacy for LGBTQ rights, was keenly attuned to the intricacies of human relationships. Her quote reflects a keen understanding of the societal perceptions and expectations surrounding love and marriage.

The first part of the quote, "Love is the terrible secret people are suspected of unless they're married," speaks to the clandestine nature of love, particularly outside the confines of marriage. In many societies, romantic relationships that exist outside the traditional institution of marriage are often viewed with suspicion or even condemnation. There is a certain element of taboo associated with love that exists beyond the boundaries of societal norms. This sentiment is particularly relevant in cultures where arranged marriages or strict adherence to traditional family structures are the norm, and where relationships are expected to conform to established social expectations.

The use of the word "terrible" in the quote suggests the weight of societal judgment and the fear or discomfort that can accompany love outside the bounds of marriage. It conveys the notion that individuals may feel a sense of shame or unease about their romantic inclinations if they do not align with conventional marital norms. This conveys a powerful commentary on the social pressures and stigmas that can surround non-traditional expressions of love.

The second part of the quote, "then one always suspects they don't," offers a contrasting perspective on the dynamics of love within the context of marriage. It implies that once individuals are married, there is a pervasive skepticism regarding the presence of genuine love within the relationship. This speaks to the societal cynicism or skepticism that often pervades discussions of long-term relationships and marriages. The assumption that married individuals may not truly love each other reflects a broader cultural tendency to question the authenticity and durability of romantic relationships, particularly within the framework of marriage.

This part of the quote also hints at the paradoxical nature of societal attitudes toward love and marriage. While love outside of marriage may be viewed with suspicion, the presence of love within marriage is often met with doubt or disbelief. This highlights the complex and contradictory expectations and judgments that individuals face in navigating their romantic lives within the context of societal norms and expectations.

In conclusion, Jane Rule's quote encapsulates the intricate and often conflicting societal attitudes toward love and marriage. It sheds light on the complex dynamics of romantic relationships, the pressures of societal expectations, and the pervasive skepticism that can accompany both non-traditional and traditional expressions of love. The quote serves as a thought-provoking commentary on the ways in which love is perceived and scrutinized within the framework of marriage and societal norms.

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