Meaning: Esa-Pekka Salonen, a renowned conductor and composer, articulates a profound sentiment about the essence of conducting in the quote, "The act of conducting in itself, of waving my arms in the air and being in charge, I didn't miss. I missed the sensual pleasure of being in contact with music." This statement offers a glimpse into the complex and multi-faceted role of a conductor, shedding light on the nuanced relationship between the conductor, the music, and the act of conducting itself.

Salonen's reflection captures the dichotomy of conducting - the external, performative aspect of leading an orchestra juxtaposed with the internal, deeply personal connection to the music. As a conductor, the physical gestures and authoritative presence are undoubtedly integral to the role, yet Salonen's words reveal that his true longing lies in the intimate, sensory experience of engaging with the music on a profound level.

The act of conducting is a dynamic blend of technical precision and artistic interpretation. A conductor's gestures serve as a visual guide for the musicians, conveying musical nuances, dynamics, and phrasing. However, beyond the outward movements, there exists an intricate dialogue between the conductor's inner musicality and the expressive potential of the music itself. Salonen's sentiment underscores the profound emotional and intellectual connection that conductors seek to cultivate with the music they interpret and the musicians they lead.

Furthermore, Salonen's reference to the "sensual pleasure of being in contact with music" speaks to the conductor's immersive experience of sound, rhythm, and harmony. The act of conducting is inherently tactile and kinesthetic, as the conductor's movements translate musical concepts into physical gestures. This tactile relationship with music allows conductors to embody the expressive qualities of the music, infusing their movements with emotion and nuance. Through this physical connection, conductors strive to convey the essence of the music to the performers and, ultimately, to the audience.

Salonen's perspective also highlights the conductor's role as a mediator between the score and the musicians. While the act of "being in charge" conveys a sense of authority and leadership, Salonen's emphasis on the "sensual pleasure" suggests a more collaborative and symbiotic relationship with the music. A conductor's ability to communicate the composer's intentions while also harnessing their own interpretative insights requires a deep understanding of the score, an acute sensitivity to the musicians' responses, and a profound reverence for the music itself.

In essence, the quote encapsulates the conductor's duality - embodying both a physical presence and an emotional conduit for the music. Salonen's introspective revelation offers a poignant portrayal of the conductor's quest for a profound, sensory connection to the music amidst the complexities of the conducting role. It serves as a reminder of the multifaceted nature of conducting, wherein the external gestures and authoritative demeanor are interwoven with an internal, visceral communion with the music.

In conclusion, Esa-Pekka Salonen's quote encapsulates the nuanced interplay between the external and internal dimensions of the conductor's role, shedding light on the conductor's yearning for a deep, sensory connection to the music. It underscores the conductor's multifaceted engagement with the music, encompassing both the physical act of conducting and the profound emotional and intellectual dialogue with the music itself. Salonen's introspective reflection offers a compelling insight into the complex, multi-layered nature of the conductor's craft, illuminating the conductor's relentless pursuit of a profound, tactile communion with the music they interpret and bring to life.