Meaning: The quote "I have withstood the power of convictions a long time; and therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God" is attributed to David Brainerd, a clergyman who lived from 1718 to 1747. This quote reflects Brainerd's deep spiritual introspection and his struggle with feelings of abandonment by God. It also reveals his profound concern about his spiritual state and his fear of being separated from God.

David Brainerd is best known for his missionary work among Native American tribes in the 18th century. His personal journals, which were later published as "The Life and Diary of David Brainerd," provide a detailed account of his inner spiritual struggles, as well as his experiences and interactions with the Native American communities he served.

In the context of the quote, Brainerd's reference to "withstanding the power of convictions" suggests that he had resisted or struggled against strong inner convictions or beliefs for a long time. This may relate to his personal battles with doubt, guilt, or internal conflict regarding his faith and calling as a missionary. The phrase "finally left of God" conveys his deep fear of being abandoned or forsaken by God as a consequence of his prolonged spiritual struggle.

Brainerd's writings often grapple with themes of personal piety, spiritual devotion, and the challenges of Christian faith in the face of adversity. His introspective and often melancholic musings reveal a man deeply committed to his religious calling but also burdened by his own perceived shortcomings and fears.

The quote can be interpreted as a poignant expression of Brainerd's inner turmoil and his wrestling with the perceived distance from God. It reflects a common struggle within religious and spiritual traditions – the fear of spiritual abandonment or feeling disconnected from a higher power.

Brainerd's writings continue to be studied and valued for their candid portrayal of the human experience of faith and doubt. His legacy as a missionary and spiritual writer has had a lasting impact on Christian thought and continues to inspire individuals to grapple with their own spiritual journeys.

In conclusion, the quote by David Brainerd captures a moment of deep personal introspection and spiritual struggle. It reflects his fear of being abandoned by God and his enduring sense of spiritual conflict. Through his writings, Brainerd invites readers to contemplate the complexities of faith, doubt, and the human experience of seeking a connection with the divine. His words continue to resonate with those who grapple with similar existential questions and seek meaning in their own spiritual journeys.