Meaning: The quote "I am an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me, he would have called me home to himself before now" is attributed to David Brainerd, a notable clergyman and missionary who lived in the 18th century. This quote reflects Brainerd's deep sense of humility and self-awareness of his own sinful nature. It also conveys a profound understanding of God's mercy and the idea that one's ultimate fate is determined by a higher power.

David Brainerd was born in Haddam, Connecticut in 1718 and became known for his influential work as a missionary to the Native American tribes in the New England region. He dedicated his life to spreading the Christian faith and ministering to indigenous communities, despite facing numerous personal and health challenges. His commitment to his mission and his fervent spirituality have made him a revered figure in Christian history.

In the quote, Brainerd openly acknowledges his own sinfulness and imperfection, using the phrase "I am an old sinner" to convey a sense of deep remorse and awareness of his moral failings. This admission of personal sin is a common theme in Christian theology, reflecting the belief that all individuals are inherently flawed and in need of divine grace and forgiveness. By describing himself as an "old sinner," Brainerd emphasizes the enduring nature of his sinful condition, recognizing that it is a fundamental aspect of his being.

The second part of the quote, "if God had designed mercy for me, he would have called me home to himself before now," reveals Brainerd's contemplation of God's mercy and the notion of predestination. Here, he expresses the belief that his continued existence is a sign of God's ongoing patience and forbearance, suggesting that if he were truly destined for divine mercy, he would have already been summoned to be with God in the afterlife. This reflects Brainerd's deep theological reflection on the nature of God's will and the role of individual agency in relation to divine grace.

Brainerd's words also echo the Calvinist doctrine of predestination, which posits that God has predetermined the fate of individuals, including their salvation or damnation. Within this theological framework, the idea of being "called home to himself" refers to the belief that God has already chosen those who will receive his mercy and be welcomed into his presence for eternity. Brainerd's contemplation of this concept reflects his profound spiritual introspection and his grappling with existential questions about his own standing before God.

Overall, this quote from David Brainerd encapsulates a deep sense of personal humility, self-awareness, and contemplation of divine mercy. It reflects his unwavering faith and his profound engagement with theological concepts such as sinfulness, mercy, and predestination. Brainerd's enduring legacy as a missionary and his influential writings continue to inspire and challenge individuals in their spiritual journeys, making this quote a poignant reflection of his profound faith and theological insights.

In conclusion, David Brainerd's quote "I am an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me, he would have called me home to himself before now" serves as a powerful expression of his deep spiritual introspection and contemplation of divine mercy and predestination. It encapsulates his profound humility, self-awareness, and unwavering faith, offering valuable insights into his theological perspective and enduring legacy as a missionary and clergyman.