Meaning: The quote you've mentioned is from the author Poppy Z. Brite, who is known for her dark and atmospheric fiction that often explores themes of identity, sexuality, and the human condition. This particular quote delves into the author's personal experience with self-image and the complex relationship between body image and exhibitionism.

Poppy Z. Brite's words convey a deep sense of discomfort and alienation from her own body during her high school years. The metaphor of being "the dog" suggests a feeling of being an outsider or an underdog, always on the fringes and never fully comfortable within her own skin. This sentiment is all too relatable for many individuals who have struggled with body image issues, particularly during their formative years.

The author's candid admission of never feeling "comfortable or right" in her body speaks to the pervasive and distressing nature of body dysmorphia and self-esteem issues. This sense of alienation from one's own physical form can have profound and lasting effects on a person's mental and emotional well-being. Brite's willingness to openly acknowledge these feelings reflects a brave and honest exploration of her personal struggles.

The notion of her "exhibitionist thing" as a way of testing her own perceived repulsiveness is a poignant insight into the complex interplay between self-perception and external validation. This suggests that her exhibitionist tendencies may have served as a form of self-exposure, a way to confront and challenge the negative self-image she held for so long. This introspective and confessional aspect of Brite's quote offers a glimpse into the psychological motivations behind her public persona and creative expression.

The quote also touches on the theme of authenticity and the quest for self-acceptance. Brite's admission of feeling like a "repulsive creature" underscores the profound impact of negative self-perception on one's sense of identity and worth. The vulnerability expressed in her words illuminates the inner turmoil she grappled with, and the internal conflict between her perceived repulsiveness and the outward projection of her exhibitionist persona.

It's important to note that Brite's experiences and reflections are deeply personal, and they shed light on the complexity of human emotions and the struggle for self-acceptance. Her willingness to confront and articulate these inner struggles serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity for self-exploration and growth.

In conclusion, Poppy Z. Brite's quote provides a poignant and introspective glimpse into her personal journey of self-discovery and the profound impact of body image issues on her sense of self. By openly acknowledging her struggles and the complex interplay between self-perception, exhibitionism, and self-acceptance, Brite offers a raw and unflinching exploration of the human experience. Her words serve as a reminder of the enduring quest for authenticity and self-compassion in the face of inner turmoil.