Meaning: The quote "One seeks to make the loved one entirely happy, or, if that cannot be, entirely wretched" by Jean de La Bruyère, a 17th-century French philosopher, reflects on the complex nature of human relationships and the extremes to which individuals may go in their pursuit of love and emotional fulfillment. This quote encapsulates the idea that people often strive to either bring joy and contentment to their loved ones or, in some cases, consciously or unconsciously contribute to their suffering.

La Bruyère's observation can be interpreted in various ways, shedding light on the intricate dynamics of human connections and the emotional complexities that accompany them. It suggests that individuals may harbor a deep desire to see their loved ones completely fulfilled and happy, willing to go to great lengths to achieve this end. On the other hand, it also acknowledges the darker side of human nature, acknowledging the potential for individuals to cause harm or distress to those they care about, whether through intentional actions or due to their own inner conflicts and shortcomings.

The first part of the quote, "One seeks to make the loved one entirely happy," speaks to the idealized notion of love and the genuine desire to bring joy and fulfillment to those we care for. It reflects the selfless and nurturing aspect of relationships, where individuals strive to support and uplift their loved ones, often making sacrifices in the process. This sentiment aligns with the concept of altruistic love, where one's primary concern is the happiness and well-being of the other person.

Conversely, the latter part of the quote, "or, if that cannot be, entirely wretched," delves into the more complex and, at times, troubling aspects of human relationships. Here, La Bruyère acknowledges the potential for destructive tendencies within individuals, recognizing that some may resort to actions that lead to the suffering or misery of their loved ones. This could manifest as a result of jealousy, insecurity, or unresolved conflicts within the individual, leading to behaviors that undermine the well-being of the person they claim to love.

The quote also touches upon the dichotomous nature of human emotions and relationships. It acknowledges that the pursuit of happiness and the avoidance of suffering are fundamental aspects of human existence. Love and attachment can lead individuals to seek the utmost joy for their loved ones, while the fear of loss or rejection can drive them to inadvertently or intentionally cause pain.

In a broader sense, this quote highlights the intricate interplay of emotions within relationships and the inherent complexities of human nature. It serves as a reminder that love, though often portrayed as pure and selfless, can also be entangled with a range of emotions, including jealousy, possessiveness, and the desire for control. These complexities can lead individuals to seek extremes in their interactions with their loved ones, whether through acts of profound kindness or through behaviors that result in emotional turmoil.

In conclusion, Jean de La Bruyère's quote encapsulates the multifaceted nature of human relationships, shedding light on the contrasting desires to bring about either complete happiness or profound suffering in the context of love. It serves as a thought-provoking reflection on the complexities of human emotions and the intricate dynamics that shape our interactions with those we care for. Through its exploration of both the selfless and potentially destructive aspects of love, the quote invites contemplation on the depths of human connection and the myriad expressions of emotion that accompany it.