The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do.

Profession: Writer

Topics: Love, Affection, Learning,

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Meaning: This quote by Nan Fairbrother, a British writer and gardener, presents a profound insight into the nature of affection and love. It touches upon the idea of being a consistent and reliable source of love and affection for others, rather than being sporadic or conditional in expressing love. This concept has deep implications in the realm of human relationships and emotional well-being.

Fairbrother's metaphor of being "a well of affection, and not a fountain" speaks to the distinction between a well, which provides a steady and constant supply of water, and a fountain, which gushes forth water in intermittent bursts. This metaphor can be applied to the way we express love and affection towards others. Being a "well of affection" implies being a reliable and consistent source of love, regardless of our own fluctuating emotions or external circumstances. It suggests a deep and enduring reservoir of care and tenderness that is continuously available to others.

The quote also highlights the importance of demonstrating love and affection not only when we feel like it, but when the recipients of our affection need it. This notion challenges the common idea that love and affection should be based on our own emotional state or desires. Instead, it emphasizes the significance of being attuned to the needs and feelings of others, and being responsive to those needs with genuine care and affection.

In the context of relationships, this concept encourages a shift from self-centered expressions of love to a more other-focused approach. It prompts us to consider the impact of our actions on others and to prioritize their emotional well-being. By showing love and affection when the other person needs it, rather than when it is convenient or emotionally satisfying for us, we demonstrate a deeper level of empathy and understanding.

Furthermore, the quote suggests that being a consistent source of affection requires a level of emotional maturity and selflessness. It implies a conscious choice to prioritize the well-being of others and to cultivate a capacity for sustained care and love. This aligns with the idea that authentic love is not solely based on fleeting emotions, but is grounded in a deliberate commitment to the happiness and welfare of those we care about.

Nan Fairbrother's quote resonates with universal truths about the nature of love and affection. It reminds us that love is not merely a feeling, but a conscious and continuous choice to be present for others in a meaningful and supportive way. By striving to embody the qualities of a "well of affection," we can contribute to the creation of nurturing and fulfilling relationships, as well as a more compassionate and empathetic society.

In conclusion, Nan Fairbrother's quote encapsulates a timeless wisdom about the nature of love and affection. It challenges us to cultivate a steadfast and reliable capacity for expressing love, and to prioritize the emotional needs of others over our own transient desires. By embracing the metaphor of being a "well of affection," we can aspire to be sources of enduring care and support for those around us, enriching our relationships and fostering deeper connections with others.

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