Most marriages recognize this paradox: Passion destroys passion; we want what puts an end to wanting what we want.

Profession: Novelist

Topics: End, Passion, Want,

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Meaning: The quote by John Fowles, the renowned English novelist, delves into the paradox of passion and desire within the context of marriage and relationships. It encapsulates the complex and often conflicting nature of human emotions and desires, particularly within the framework of long-term partnerships. Fowles suggests that the very intensity of passion can ultimately lead to its demise, as individuals seek to quench their desires and attain a sense of fulfillment that transcends mere longing.

In dissecting Fowles' quote, it becomes evident that the paradox he refers to is deeply rooted in the human psyche. The initial stages of a relationship are often characterized by an intense and overwhelming passion, fuelled by the excitement of the unknown and the allure of the unattainable. However, as the relationship progresses and the partners grow more familiar with each other, the intensity of this passion may wane. The very thing that initially sparked desire - the mystery, the elusiveness, and the thrill of the chase - begins to evaporate as familiarity sets in.

This paradox is not limited to the realm of romantic relationships; it permeates various facets of human experience. The concept of longing for what we already possess, and simultaneously desiring what we do not have, is a recurrent theme in literature, philosophy, and psychology. It speaks to the fundamental human condition, where the pursuit of desire is often entwined with the yearning for something beyond reach.

In the context of marriage, this paradox takes on a particularly poignant significance. The initial infatuation and passion that draw two individuals together may give way to a more nuanced and mature form of love. The desire for the unattainable is replaced by a deeper, more enduring bond that transcends fleeting passion. However, this transformation is not without its challenges. The very passion that once ignited the relationship may become its own undoing, as partners grapple with the shift from longing for each other to living with each other.

Fowles' assertion that "passion destroys passion" encapsulates the inherent tension within relationships, where the pursuit of desire can inadvertently undermine the very passion it seeks to sustain. This paradox is a universal experience, reflecting the ebb and flow of human emotions and the intricacies of long-term partnerships.

Ultimately, Fowles' quote serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities inherent in human relationships. It prompts us to acknowledge the ever-changing nature of desire and passion, and the need to navigate the paradoxes that define our emotional landscape. By recognizing and embracing these paradoxes, individuals can cultivate a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships, fostering a more resilient and enduring form of love.

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