Meaning: This quote by Elia Kazan, the renowned film and stage director, reflects a common struggle that many people face in their personal and professional lives. The sentiment expressed in this quote illustrates the internal conflict of trying to please others and seeking validation through being perceived as "nice." The quote suggests that the speaker once prioritized being liked by others, perhaps at the expense of their own authenticity and true feelings.

Elia Kazan's words resonate with many individuals who have experienced the pressure to conform to societal expectations and seek approval from others. The desire to be perceived as a "nice guy" or "nice person" is often rooted in a deep-seated need for acceptance and validation. This can lead to a constant effort to please others, even if it means suppressing one's true thoughts and emotions.

In the context of Kazan's career as a director, this quote may also allude to the challenges of navigating the entertainment industry, where relationships and public image can significantly impact one's success. The pressure to maintain a favorable reputation and be well-liked by colleagues and audiences alike can be immense, potentially leading individuals to prioritize external perceptions over their own personal fulfillment.

Kazan's own experiences in the film industry, particularly during the mid-20th century, were marked by both critical acclaim and controversy. His decision to testify before the House Un-American Activities Committee during the McCarthy era, where he named former colleagues as Communists, stirred significant backlash and divided opinions about his character and integrity. This tumultuous period in Kazan's life may have further influenced his reflections on the complexities of human relationships and the struggle to balance personal values with external expectations.

The quote also touches upon the broader theme of authenticity versus conformity. The notion of "straining to be a nice guy" implies a sense of effort and strain in maintaining a facade of pleasantness, which can be emotionally taxing and unsustainable in the long run. This struggle to conform to societal ideals of niceness can hinder individuals from expressing their true selves and engaging in genuine interactions.

In contemporary society, the pressure to be likable and amiable is perpetuated through social media, professional environments, and personal relationships. The pervasive influence of social norms and the fear of rejection can compel individuals to prioritize external validation over their own well-being. This can lead to feelings of dissonance and internal conflict, as individuals grapple with the tension between being authentic and seeking approval.

However, it is important to note that Kazan's quote also implies a sense of reflection and personal growth. The use of the phrase "used to" suggests that the speaker has undergone a shift in perspective or behavior. This evolution may signify a realization that prioritizing others' opinions at the expense of one's own authenticity is ultimately unfulfilling.

In conclusion, Elia Kazan's quote encapsulates the universal struggle of seeking validation and likability while grappling with the tension between conformity and authenticity. It serves as a poignant reminder that true fulfillment comes from embracing one's genuine self, rather than striving to meet external expectations. The quote encourages individuals to reflect on their own motivations and consider the importance of aligning their actions with their true values, rather than expending energy on the pursuit of external approval.