Meaning:
The quote "A sensible woman should be guided by her head when taking a husband, and by her heart when taking a lover" is attributed to Ninon de Lenclos, a French author, and courtesan who lived in the 17th century. This quote reflects the idea that when it comes to choosing a life partner, practical considerations and rational thinking should play a significant role, while in matters of romance and passion, emotional connection and intuition should take precedence.
Ninon de Lenclos was known for her wit, intelligence, and unconventional views on love and relationships. As a courtesan, she had relationships with many influential men of her time and was celebrated for her charm and intelligence. In her writings and conversations, she often expressed her views on love, marriage, and the roles of men and women in society.
The first part of the quote, "A sensible woman should be guided by her head when taking a husband," suggests that when considering a life partner, a woman should prioritize practical and rational considerations. This could include factors such as compatibility, shared values, financial stability, and long-term goals. It implies that the decision to marry should be approached with a clear mind and a sense of practicality, rather than solely based on emotions or fleeting passions.
This perspective reflects the societal norms and expectations of the time when Ninon de Lenclos lived, where marriage was often seen as a strategic and practical arrangement, involving considerations of social status, financial security, and family alliances. For women, particularly those of the upper classes, the choice of a husband was often influenced by these practical considerations, and emotional desires were secondary.
The second part of the quote, "and by her heart when taking a lover," suggests a different approach to romantic relationships outside of marriage. Here, Ninon de Lenclos emphasizes the importance of following one's emotions and desires when engaging in romantic or passionate relationships that fall outside the bounds of traditional marriage. This part of the quote acknowledges the significance of emotional connection, chemistry, and personal fulfillment in romantic affairs.
This perspective aligns with Ninon de Lenclos's reputation as a free thinker and advocate for personal freedom and autonomy, particularly in matters of love and relationships. She believed that individuals should be guided by their own feelings and desires when it came to pursuing romantic connections, rather than conforming to societal expectations or external pressures.
In modern times, the quote continues to resonate with individuals navigating the complexities of love, marriage, and relationships. It serves as a reminder that different considerations may come into play when choosing a life partner versus engaging in romantic or passionate affairs. It encourages a balanced approach, where practicality and rational thinking are valued in long-term commitments, while emotional connection and personal fulfillment are prioritized in more transient relationships.
Overall, Ninon de Lenclos's quote reflects a nuanced understanding of the complexities of love and relationships, acknowledging the interplay of practicality and emotion in different contexts. It continues to inspire contemplation and discussion about the roles of reason and emotion in making choices about love and partnership.