Like all my family and class, I considered it a sign of weakness to show affection; to have been caught kissing my mother would have been a disgrace, and to have shown affection for my father would have been a disaster.

Profession: Journalist

Topics: Family, Mother, Father, Affection, Class, Disaster, Disgrace, Kissing, Weakness,

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Meaning: The quote by Agnes Smedley, an American journalist and writer, provides a poignant insight into the cultural and societal expectations around displaying affection within the family dynamic. Smedley's words shed light on the rigid norms and expectations that existed within her family and social class, where exhibiting open affection was perceived as a sign of weakness and vulnerability.

In the quote, Smedley reflects on the prevalent attitudes toward displaying affection within her family and social circle. She highlights the deeply ingrained belief that expressing love and tenderness toward family members, particularly parents, was viewed as a source of shame and disgrace. The notion that exhibiting affection towards one's parents was considered a weakness speaks volumes about the prevailing attitudes and values of the time.

Smedley's words also underscore the gendered nature of these expectations, particularly in her reference to showing affection for her father being perceived as a disaster. This reflects the traditional gender roles and expectations that were prevalent during Smedley's lifetime, where men were often expected to embody stoicism and emotional restraint, and any deviation from these norms was met with disapproval and censure.

It is important to consider the societal and cultural context in which Smedley's experiences took place. The quote provides a glimpse into a time when emotional expression, especially within familial relationships, was tightly regulated by social conventions and expectations. The emphasis on maintaining a facade of strength and composure, even within the intimate realm of the family, reveals the pervasive influence of societal norms on personal interactions and emotional connections.

Smedley's reflections also invite contemplation on the impact of such repressive attitudes towards affection within the family. The suppression of natural emotions and the inhibition of genuine displays of love and care may have contributed to a sense of emotional estrangement and detachment within familial relationships. Furthermore, the pressure to conform to these restrictive norms may have resulted in feelings of internal conflict and a sense of dissonance between one's authentic emotions and the societal expectations imposed upon them.

It is worth noting that Smedley's observations resonate with broader discussions around the intersections of gender, emotion, and societal expectations. Her words prompt us to consider how traditional gender norms and societal pressures can shape individuals' experiences of familial love and connection, and the potential repercussions of suppressing authentic emotional expression within these relationships.

In conclusion, Agnes Smedley's quote offers a thought-provoking commentary on the societal and cultural attitudes towards displaying affection within the family. Her reflections provide valuable insight into the restrictive norms and expectations that governed familial relationships during her time, and prompt us to consider the profound impact of societal expectations on the expression of genuine emotion and connection within the family unit.

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