First get an absolute conquest over thyself, and then thou wilt easily govern thy wife.

Profession: Clergyman

Topics: Wife, Conquest, First,

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Meaning: The quote "First get an absolute conquest over thyself, and then thou wilt easily govern thy wife" by Thomas Fuller, a 17th-century English clergyman, encapsulates a sentiment that reflects the prevailing attitudes towards marital relationships during that era. The quote implies that one must first attain mastery over one's own actions, emotions, and impulses before being able to effectively manage or guide another person, particularly in the context of marriage.

In the historical context of the 17th century, marriage was often viewed through a lens of hierarchy and authority, with the husband being considered the head of the household and responsible for the governance and direction of the family unit. This perspective was deeply rooted in traditional gender roles and patriarchal structures that assigned specific responsibilities and expectations to men and women within the institution of marriage.

The notion of "absolute conquest over thyself" suggests the importance of self-discipline, self-control, and personal development as prerequisites for assuming a position of leadership or influence within the marital relationship. Fuller's use of the word "conquest" implies a deliberate and conscious effort to overcome one's own shortcomings and weaknesses, thereby positioning oneself as a capable and worthy leader within the family dynamic.

Furthermore, the phrase "govern thy wife" reflects the language and attitudes of the time, which positioned the husband as the authoritative figure in the marital union. The concept of "governing" suggests a role of leadership, decision-making, and influence, with the assumption that the wife would be submissive and compliant to the husband's direction.

It's important to note that this quote reflects the social and cultural norms of a specific historical period and should be interpreted within that context. In contemporary society, the concept of "governing" one's spouse is generally considered outdated and inconsistent with modern understandings of partnership, mutual respect, and equality within marriage.

From a contemporary perspective, the message of self-mastery and personal development contained in Fuller's quote can be seen as valuable advice for individuals seeking to cultivate healthy and harmonious relationships. The emphasis on self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and personal growth aligns with modern principles of self-improvement and introspection, which can positively impact one's interactions and dynamics within a marriage or partnership.

In conclusion, Thomas Fuller's quote "First get an absolute conquest over thyself, and then thou wilt easily govern thy wife" reflects the historical attitudes towards marriage and gender roles prevalent in the 17th century. While the language and sentiments may appear antiquated by today's standards, the underlying message of self-mastery and personal development remains relevant in the context of fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships. It serves as a reminder of the ongoing evolution of societal norms and values surrounding marriage and gender dynamics.

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