300 Quotes on Wife

• Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.

  Author: Zig Ziglar

• If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag.

  Author: Zig Ziglar

• A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.

  Author: Israel Zangwill

• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

  Author: Henny Youngman

• Take my wife... Please!

  Author: Henny Youngman

• My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

  Author: Henny Youngman

• I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image.

  Author: Michael York

• One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.

  Author: Zakk Wylde

• He's a fool that marries, but he's a greater that does not marry a fool; what is wit in a wife good for, but to make a man a cuckold?

  Author: William Wycherley

• I met my wife, Doreen, who was a dancer in the show.

  Author: Ernie Wise

• My wife thinks I'm completely mad.

  Author: Malcolm Williamson

• My wife and children seem to like me quite a bit, and as long as that is true, I'm really OK.

  Author: Brian Williams

• Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

  Author: Oscar Wilde

• I think I hit the bottom when my wife left me while I was on the road.

  Author: Brian Welch

• I am here today to again apologize for the personal mistakes I have made and the embarrassment I have caused. I make this apology to my neighbors and my constituents, but I make it particularly to my wife, Huma.

  Author: Anthony Weiner

• I was trying to protect my wife, I was trying to protect myself from shame, and I really regret it.

  Author: Anthony Weiner

• There isn't a wife in the world who has not taken the exact measure of her husband, weighed him and settled him in her own mind, and knows him as well as if she had ordered him after designs and specifications of her own.

  Author: Charles Warner

• I don't sleep much. I'm on the go. My mind is racing. My wife says my mind is like the rolling dials on a slot machine. So, yeah, I think about everything.

  Author: Bill Walton

• I met my wife and, for the next ten years, we did no films at all. She did the first movie and then I did several after. My first movie was written by Tennessee Williams and directed by Kazan and was called Baby Doll.

  Author: Eli Wallach

• The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

  Author: Voltaire

• He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit, my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said, 'You mean you don't have one on?'

  Author: Joe Viterelli

• I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.

  Author: Judith Viorst

• Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.

  Author: Queen Victoria

• I'm still very close friends with his first wife, Neile, who is now remarried.

  Author: Robert Vaughn

• Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her.

  Author: Mike Tyson

• You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.

  Author: Mike Tyson

• If you are a married man resident in Cuba, you cannot get a passport to go to the next town without your wife's permission in writing.

  Author: Edward Tylor

• I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife.

  Author: Lee Trevino

• And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it.

  Author: Mel Tillis

• I think for Beecher specifically, Keller was with him when his wife died. Beecher had decided after he first got into prison that he had to shut off everybody. You can't let anybody in and you have to become like them and you have to be threatening and all that.

  Author: Lee Tergesen

• I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.

  Author: Elizabeth Taylor

• An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

  Author: Booth Tarkington

• The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark.

  Author: Max Sydow

• I am so glad my wife tolerates me. And we have three wonderful sons.

  Author: Donald Sutherland

• The only thing I feel passionate about is my wife.

  Author: Donald Sutherland

• Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.

  Author: Billy Sunday

• Dick Dart emerged from the ether during a flight from New York with my wife and children to Puerto Rico.

  Author: Peter Straub

• Each coming together of man and wife, even if they have been mated for many years, should be a fresh adventure; each winning should necessitate a fresh wooing.

  Author: Marie Stopes

• A wife should no more take her husband's name than he should hers. My name is my identity and must not be lost.

  Author: Lucy Stone

• If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

  Author: Ryan Stiles

• I met my wife, Margaret L. Mack, at the University of Chicago. We were married in 1936. She died in 1970.

  Author: George Stigler

• There is no such thing as being good to your wife.

  Author: Gertrude Stein

• Our prejudices are our mistresses; reason is at best our wife, very often heard indeed, but seldom minded.

  Author: Philip Stanhope

• A successful woman preacher was once asked what special obstacles have you met as a woman in the ministry? Not one, she answered, except the lack of a minister's wife.

  Author: Anna Spencer

• One thing my wife says is bad about me, is that I still care too much.

  Author: Aaron Spelling

• I was seeing a lot of really good things about Get Shorty when it came out, and my wife pointed out that if you validate the good reviews, you also have to validate the bad reviews.

  Author: Barry Sonnenfeld

• By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

  Author: Socrates

• My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

  Author: Socrates

• I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in.

  Author: Michael Smith

• When a man has been consistently battering his wife, he shouldn't expect a bouquet of roses from her the morning after he promises to stop.

  Author: Joe Slovo

• Rove and his attorneys can parse the words all they want, but it is now clear that while Rove may not have given a reporter Plame's name, he clearly identified her by telling the reporter that Joseph Wilson's wife was a CIA agent.

  Author: Louise Slaughter

• Last year my wife got a Rolls-Royce.

  Author: Russell Simmons

• If O.J. had been accused of killing his black wife, you would not have seen the same passion stirred up.

  Author: Al Sharpton

• My wife is Danish and we go to Denmark a couple of times a year.

  Author: Ted Shackelford

• Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

  Author: Franz Schubert

• My wife Mariana is a good photographer too and, like me, she just picks up a camera and takes a picture when she sees something, rather than looking too deeply into it.

  Author: Graeme Saux

• In the last year my wife has noticed me struggling to get downstairs on a Sunday morning. I've two young children and football has been so good to me over the years I don't want to spoil it.

  Author: Graeme Saux

• The philosophy of the common man is an old wife that gives him no pleasure, yet he cannot live without her, and resents any aspersions that strangers may cast on her character.

  Author: George Santayana

• My wife Margaret is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

  Author: Ryne Sandberg

• Only towards the end of this process are any of the chapters in fully readable condition, a state of affairs that used to alarm my wife. But Joan's got used to it.

  Author: Fred Saberhagen

• I moved away for three years and went to Trinidad where I met my wife, Athena.

  Author: Mathias Rust

• I'm married, I have three children, I never hit my wife.

  Author: Ja Rule

• We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York.

  Author: Darius Rucker

• One man's folly is another man's wife.

  Author: Helen Rowland

• When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

  Author: Helen Rowland

• Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

  Author: Jean Rostand

• Again, I shall be told that the law presumes the husband to be kind, affectionate, and ready to provide for and protect his wife. But what right, I ask, has the law to presume at all on the subject?

  Author: Ernestine Rose

• If any difference should be made by law between husband and wife, reason, justice and humanity, if their voices were heard, would dictate that it should be in her favor.

  Author: Ernestine Rose

• It is just that I don't want a wife and I don't want kids.

  Author: Henry Rollins

• I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

  Author: Will Rogers

• When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

  Author: Chi Rodriguez

• However near and dear to you may be your wife, children, friends, they are not you; they are outside of you.

  Author: John Robinson

• And I'm as attached to my wife as anybody can be to another human being.

  Author: Eric Roberts

• I can understand that the whole world is interested in my wife Madonna. That's even why I married her.

  Author: Guy Ritchie

• Handsome husbands often make a wife's heart ache.

  Author: Samuel Richardson

• We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.

  Author: Paul Reiser

• My wife and I just prefer Seattle. It's a beautiful city. Great setting. You open your front door in the morning and the air smells like pine and the sea, as opposed to bus exhaust.

  Author: Ron Reagan

• I don't feel ashamed of my wife's political background, and I don't think she should either. I feel that the people who administered the North of Ireland for the last 20 years should be ashamed. There you are.

  Author: Stephen Rea

• What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window.

  Author: Burton Rascoe

• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, for there are plenty of others.

  Author: Otto Rank

• You know, grieve your wife, this is an impulsive thing and you have no idea the kind of trouble you're getting yourself into it. And of course he doesn't listen to me and he adopts this child.

  Author: Oliver Platt

• I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'

  Author: Emo Philips

• I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

  Author: Prince Philip

• The show can go on without me, and probably will, but I want to come back to act in Chicago. My wife and I just bought a condo downtown, and I want to do theater.

  Author: William Petersen

• Strange, to see what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition, every man and wife gazing and smiling at them.

  Author: Samuel Pepys

• I don't write about certain arguments I have with my wife. I'd get my head torn off if wrote about certain things.

  Author: Harvey Pekar

• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.

  Author: P. O'Rourke

• With us tonight is William Warfield, who is with us tonight. He is a wonderful man, and so is his wife.

  Author: Eugene Ormandy

• I immediately called the command center of the Department of Justice to let them know that my wife was on a plane that had been hijacked. I mainly wanted them know there was another hijacked plane out there.

  Author: Ted Olson

• My wife had taken off on a plane. Two airplanes had crashed into the World Trade Center. I, of course, like any other person, felt potentially devastated, panicky a little bit.

  Author: Ted Olson

• My Cleveland years were both scientifically and personally most rewarding. My wife Judy was able to rejoin me in our research and my research group grew rapidly.

  Author: George Olah

• It is flagrantly dishonest for an advertising agent to urge consumers to buy a product which he would not allow his own wife to buy.

  Author: David Ogilvy

• The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

  Author: David Ogilvy

• There are two kinds of marriages - where the husband quotes the wife and where the wife quotes the husband.

  Author: Clifford Odets

• The fact that my 15 minutes of fame has extended a little longer than 15 minutes is somewhat surprising to me and completely baffling to my wife.

  Author: Barack Obama

• In 1972 I married again, to Elisabeth Case; she continues to be wife, companion, critic and editor: a partner in the projects and programs that we undertake.

  Author: Douglass North

• I met David Smith through my former wife, Cornelia, who'd studied with him.

  Author: Kenneth Noland

• My wife and I are affiliated with a temple here in Los Angeles. We feel very close to the congregation and to the rabbi, who happens to be my wife's cousin and who I admire greatly. I talk to him regularly but I consider myself more spiritual than religious.

  Author: Leonard Nimoy

• Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings.

  Author: Stevie Nicks

• Seat assignment didn't matter if you're flying Dallas to Houston and you did it 38 times a day. People just got on, you didn't sit next to your wife, and it was a 45-minute flight. It didn't matter.

  Author: David Neeleman

• A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.

  Author: George Nathan

• I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

  Author: Ilie Nastase

• My wife can see always how a part affects me personally because she has to live with it.

  Author: Cillian Murphy

• Memorizing dialogue has always come easy and quickly to me. My wife Eileen is also very helpful. She gives me choices, and asks me questions, and runs my lines with me.

  Author: Bill Mumy

• One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear.

  Author: J. Morton

• If a lecturer, he wishes to be heard; if a writer, to be read. He always hopes for a public beyond that of the long-suffering wife.

  Author: Samuel Morison

• A pretty wife is something for the fastidious vanity of a rougue to retire upon.

  Author: Thomas Moore

• We made one film called Thy Neighbor's Wife in which I got flogged at the public whipping post for adultery. I did my best acting in that film, I guess.

  Author: Cleo Moore

• I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

  Author: Bob Monkhouse

• We have two kids, my wife and myself.

  Author: Thelonious Monk

• My wife taught me the importance of living well.

  Author: Robert Mondavi

• Not much more can happen to you after you lose your reputation and your wife.

  Author: John Mitchell

• My wife and two children traveled with me on locations all last season.

  Author: Martin Milner

• No slave is a slave to the same lengths, and in so full a sense of the word, as a wife is.

  Author: John Mill

• I hardly said a word to my wife until I said 'yes' to divorce.

  Author: John Milius

• It's about a young man who has climbed to fame and he discovers that his writing and the relationship with his wife are really more important for him than anything else.

  Author: Ismail Merchant

• I think the most important thing my wife Cynthia and I can do for Kristen is to teach her how to grow up to be a woman and make her own decisions. Meanwhile, we sometimes have to guide her.

  Author: Kent McCord

• My wife and I have spent half our lives, half our adult lives, trying to save special parts of California.

  Author: Pete McCloskey

• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  Author: Groucho Marx

• I've loved it, but I have a wife and two children.

  Author: Joe Mantegna

• I know at the beginning of our careers, my wife and I were gut wrenchingly competitive.

  Author: Barry Mann

• It's not a good idea to put your wife into a novel; not your latest wife anyway.

  Author: Norman Mailer

• My wife thought I deserved it, but I always thought the Nobel a Western prize.

  Author: Naguib Mahfouz

• A favorite cast? Lisa Kudrow, Anthony Hopkins, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, and my wife.

  Author: William Macy

• We had to be very careful on our best behaviour when we went to these other countries. And then I made a living, I had a chance to support my wife and my kids. It was a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful program from that point of view.

  Author: Gavin MacLeod

• A lady is nothing very specific. One man's lady is another man's woman; sometimes, one man's lady is another man's wife. Definitions overlap but they almost never coincide.

  Author: Russell Lynes

• Oh, my God! My wife and I, boy, we got down that night. On a personal note!

  Author: Derek Luke

• There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

  Author: Clare Luce

• I have a wife, I have sons: all of them hostages given to fate.

  Author: Lucan

• Sobriety was the greatest gift I ever gave myself. I don't put it on a platform. I don't campaign about it. It's just something that works for me. It enabled me to really connect with another human being - my wife, Sheryl - which I was never able to do before.

  Author: Rob Lowe

• We got off the Clash of the Titans tour and I said that my wife and I were working on having a baby and sure enough we found out that she was pregnant. So I told them nine months in advance that I wasn't going to tour in September so I could witness the birth of my first son.

  Author: Dave Lombardo

• My wife read Narc as well and was really into it.

  Author: Ray Liotta

• So I decided to form a production company with my wife and our partner Diane.

  Author: Ray Liotta

• A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride.

  Author: C. Lewis

• I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

  Author: Sam Levenson

• They say that I'm stubborn, and my wife says that, too, but it's paid off so far.

  Author: Sugar Leonard

• Duran always disturbs me. The guy is just weird. Before our first fight, both Duran and his wife gave my wife the finger.

  Author: Sugar Leonard

• I came down to the living room one day and my wife was standing in the living room. It wasn't an illusion. I saw her out of the corner of my eye. The moment I saw her, she vanished.

  Author: Hugh Leonard

• I'm a much nicer person since my wife died. I found out what pain is, so on that level I'm much nicer.

  Author: Hugh Leonard

• Well I live in Vienna with my wife and son, and I teach in Hamburg, there will be no changes in that respect.

  Author: Gyorgy Legeti

• We see them when they come to New York. They stay at my wife's apartment. We have quite a correspondence with them at all times. They play a very important role, the authors in the firm, because so much of the material we publish is suggested by them.

  Author: James Laughlin

• I can't understand these chaps who go round American universities explaining how they write poems: It's like going round explaining how you sleep with your wife.

  Author: Philip Larkin

• Caesar's wife should be above suspicion.

  Author: John Langhorne

• If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.

  Author: Ann Landers

• My former wife is a truly wonderful person.

  Author: Burt Lancaster

• But even with a character like Cary who is relatively outlandish, at the end of the movie he's in a place where I wouldn't have expected him to be - taking on the responsibility of a woman who is pregnant and who used to be his best friend's wife.

  Author: Neil LaBute

• If priests were allowed to marry, if this would be an optional thing, and if he could have wife and children, he would certainly have less temptation to satisfy certain sexual impulses with minors.

  Author: Hans Kung

• My wife volunteered her services as Red Cross nurse, insisting upon being sent to the front, in order to be as near me as could be, but it developed later that no nurse was allowed to go farther than the large troop hospitals far in the rear of the actual operations.

  Author: Fritz Kreisler

• Although I had resigned my commission as an officer two years before, I immediately left Switzerland, accompanied by my wife, in order to report for duty. As it happened, a wire reached me a day later calling me to the colors.

  Author: Fritz Kreisler

• There are a lot of good memories, and because I was injured, during the rehab, I met my wife. The tennis was very good but the injuries were good for something too.

  Author: Richard Krajicek

• My wife is my first audience. She's a tough lady, so I can't say that I ever scare her. Except, of course, when she sees me the way I look before breakfast.

  Author: Dean Koontz

• As part of my relationship with my wife and my daughter, and we share everything and talk about everything.

  Author: Boris Kodjoe

• You can be very independent, but admit to wanting somebody close to you and that's what me and my wife have. We don't need each other but we want to be with each other and I think it's important to educate the kids with that.

  Author: Boris Kodjoe

• If I came in to recruit your son, I would tell you, your wife, and your son, that I will be the most demanding coach your son can play for.

  Author: Bobby Knight

• My wife and I, we like to ride where there's not much traffic.

  Author: Evel Knievel

• I'm working on a snow scene right now, and it's summer. It's hot, and I will get chilly. I'll have to turn on the heat. My wife walks in, and it's 95 degrees in the studio. I know it's nutty, but it's a projection you have where you step into the painting.

  Author: Thomas Kinkade

• I'm very close with Bob and his lovely, fabulous wife Catherine, too.

  Author: Sally Kellerman

• I gather from a lawyer that there was a rehearsal yesterday. We haven't a hope. I know the presiding judge too: I've had the misfortune to sleep with his wife. He was specially picked.

  Author: Alphonse Karr

• I even smoke in bed. Imagine smoking a cigar in bed, reading a book. Next to your bed, there's a cigar table with a special cigar ashtray, and your wife is reading a book on how to save the environment.

  Author: Raul Julia

• That is, the wife must care for what the husband cares for if he is to remain resolute.

  Author: Mother Jones

• A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

  Author: Samuel Johnson

• You slam a politician, you make out he's the devil, with horns and hoofs. But his wife loves him, and so did all his mistresses.

  Author: Pamela Johnson

• I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

  Author: Lyndon Johnson

• If you let a bully come in your front yard, he'll be on your porch the next day and the day after that he'll rape your wife in your own bed.

  Author: Lyndon Johnson

• Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

  Author: Lyndon Johnson

• I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say 'Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict.'

  Author: Samuel Jackson

• Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.

  Author: Andrew Jackson

• There was a whole display set up of all the X-Men paraphernalia. My wife couldn't resist telling this 5-year-old boy that I was Wolverine. The little kid looked up at me and he was staring at me.

  Author: Hugh Jackman

• I have a wife and a son, but the gay rumors have started. I guess it's a sign that I'm moving up the ladder.

  Author: Hugh Jackman

• If a composer has a nice wife and some nice children, how can he let the children starve on his dissonances?

  Author: Charles Ives

• I have one main reader, Miriam Gomez, my wife. She reads everything I write - I have not finished writing something and she is already reading it.

  Author: Guillermo Infante

• It is better to be the widow of a hero than the wife of a coward.

  Author: Dolores Ibarruri

• My wife says I'm making a noise like a stranded whale. I think I have a major snoring problem.

  Author: Rex Hunt

• But when we have families, when we have children, this gives us a purpose for being, to protect our children, to avoid going to jail because if I'm in jail, who looks after my children, who's there for my wife?

  Author: Ernie Hudson

• If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

  Author: Kin Hubbard

• For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.

  Author: Edgar Howe

• Two more years were to go by before I knew anything about William Blake. Many years later, when his wife died, my godfather gave me the two books as a remembrance.

  Author: Laurence Housman

• There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

  Author: Homer

• Originally the film opened with Ryan in the doctor's office, being told his wife is dying. Then we see him walking the streets, and the story is told in flashback.

  Author: Arthur Hiller

• And don't forget, a prisoner's wife must always think good thoughts.

  Author: Nazim Hikmet

• Agnes Darling, if such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife - Agnes - and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the other shore.

  Author: Wild Hickok

• For a man wins nothing better than a good wife, and then again nothing deadlier than a bad one.

  Author: Hesiod

• My wife is the dancer, but I certainly know how to sing.

  Author: David Hasselhoff

• I'm still working, I've got two arms, two legs, two gorgeous kids, a lovely wife. Fifteen years ago, I was homeless. So when you think about it, I'm lucky.

  Author: Ian Hart

• England is my wife, America my mistress. It is very good sometimes to get away from one's wife.

  Author: Cedric Hardwicke

• To see my wife getting inspired from my notes and thoughts, going in the direction I wanted, and have her surprise me with wonderful choices was a real treat.

  Author: Lasse Hallstrom

• I used to hang out with Salvador Dali a lot. He was such a nice man. I really liked his wife Gala, too. People say that she was tricky, but she was never difficult with me.

  Author: Jerry Hall

• Jim Bakker ripped off the bedspread and said, my wife doesn't make me feel like a man anymore.

  Author: Jessica Hahn

• My second wife Bonnie Owens and I worked together after we divorced for a period of maybe 20 years. And I managed to stay friends with another wife. And then there's one that I don't mess with. Everybody's got one of those.

  Author: Merle Haggard

• I always wondered if you clone your wife and have the cloned wife on the moon and the real wife down here, would that be considered cheating?

  Author: Luis Guzman

• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  Author: Sacha Guitry

• An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

  Author: Sacha Guitry

• A guy who'd cheat on his wife would cheat at cards.

  Author: Texas Guinan

• The house wife is an unpaid employee in her husband's house in return for the security of being a permanent employee.

  Author: Germaine Greer

• Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

  Author: Barry Goldwater

• When every piece of furniture and your underwear are taken by the bank, when you lose your house in Florida, in New York, in Amsterdam and L.A., when your wife is dying and your son abandons you, you don't feel very good.

  Author: Al Goldstein

• All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated a little.

  Author: Oliver Goldsmith

• My wife has them all in a vault... a copy of every album.

  Author: Jerry Goldsmith

• Never argue with your wife about hostility when she's a certified Freudian.

  Author: William Goldman

• Well, my wife, Cathy Gillespie, worked for Joe Barton, who was running for Congress in 1984.

  Author: Ed Gillespie

• The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits.

  Author: John Gay

• To be sure a stepmother to a girl is a different thing to a second wife to a man!

  Author: Elizabeth Gaskell

• I saw my wife at a pool, flipped over her, and 14 days later we were married.

  Author: James Garner

• I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.

  Author: Joe Garagiola

• A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife.

  Author: Thomas Fuller

• He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

  Author: Thomas Fuller

• If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter.

  Author: Thomas Fuller

• Choose a wife rather by your ear than your eye.

  Author: Thomas Fuller

• First get an absolute conquest over thyself, and then thou wilt easily govern thy wife.

  Author: Thomas Fuller

• Finding a good band is Iike finding a good wife. You got to keep trying till you find the right one.

  Author: Ace Frehley

• You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?

  Author: Benjamin Franklin

• He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

  Author: Benjamin Franklin

• Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

  Author: Benjamin Franklin

• Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

  Author: Jeff Foxworthy

• Since I left basketball, and my wife, it's been a glorious feast of lovemaking.

  Author: Rick Fox

• Next door, there's an old man who lived to his nineties and one day passed away in his sleep. And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days and passed away. I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong.

  Author: Ben Folds

• A good husband makes a good wife.

  Author: John Florio

• I met John Lennon and he was with his wife in Tokyo. I met him there.

  Author: Bryan Ferry

• I met my wife by breaking two of my rules: never date a girl seriously that you meet at a nightclub and never date a fan.

  Author: Corey Feldman

• The party now is having my kids laugh and my wife laugh and my teammates. I want them to see me have fun and put it in a different way.

  Author: Brett Favre

• When I raced with Mercedes, I thought I'd learn German. But my wife didn't want to live in Germany.

  Author: Juan Fangio

• When you have a godly husband, a godly wife, children who respect their parents and who are loved by their parents, who provide for those children their physical and spiritual and material needs, lovingly, you have the idea unit.

  Author: Jerry Falwell

• I no longer need to be someone's wife. I'm doing okay as I am.

  Author: Linda Evans

• I doubt if a single individual could be found from the whole of mankind free from some form of insanity. The only difference is one of degree. A man who sees a gourd and takes it for his wife is called insane because this happens to very few people.

  Author: Desiderius Erasmus

• Never in any case say I have lost such a thing, but I have returned it. Is your child dead? It is a return. Is your wife dead? It is a return. Are you deprived of your estate? Is not this also a return?

  Author: Epictetus

• Having been to Europe and working and traveling there, the restaurants my wife and I remember were always off the beaten trail restaurants. So I tried to seek a little 'off the beaten trail,' but cool area.

  Author: Todd English

• To my three sons, Peter, Scott, and Alexander who pulled me from the 18th Century and back into the present on a regular basis and therefore made me a better person, thank you. And to my wife, who sits at the table there. Who is right about almost everything.

  Author: Joseph Ellis

• That's what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he's wise.

  Author: George Eliot

• The greatest king of Israel, King David, the author of the Psalms, sent a man out to die in battle so that he could sleep with his wife.

  Author: Robert Duvall

• My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

  Author: Jimmy Durante

• There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also.

  Author: Mike Ditka

• It would be flattering to call it a modern Dirty Harry, but I think this film deals more with the loss of his wife than the traditional revenge vigilante films.

  Author: Vin Diesel

• Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

  Author: Thomas Dewar

• No wife can endure a gambling husband; unless he is a steady winner.

  Author: Thomas Dewar

• I had just broken up with my wife so I was searching for another way to live.

  Author: Michael Davis

• If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy.

  Author: Chris Daughtry

• I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

  Author: Rodney Dangerfield

• It's better when you have your wife with you, more fun.

  Author: Evan Dando

• I told them if were going to do it were going to do it right, I'm not leaving 'til it's done. My wife, child and I slept in the studio. We cut these raw.

  Author: Dick Dale

• I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.

  Author: Tony Curtis

• Let's put it this way, when I was casting, I cast Viggo first and then found someone who could play his wife, rather than the other way around. So for me he's still the lead character.

  Author: David Cronenberg

• Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

  Author: Bill Cosby

• It was there I met my future wife, Celeste Landry, although our lives took us separate ways for many years and we were not to marry until more than ten years later.

  Author: Eric Cornell

• I supported Bob Schaffer's three races for Congress. But we all had concerns about whether he could win statewide. Then my wife suggested that I get it.

  Author: Pete Coors

• I wrote my earliest piece for The Sunday Times about being a young wife.

  Author: Jilly Cooper

• Of all my wife's relations I like myself the best.

  Author: Joseph Cook

• I met my wife through playing golf. She is French and couldn't speak English and I couldn't speak French, so there was little chance of us getting involved in any boring conversations - that's why we got married really quickly.

  Author: Sean Connery

• I unfortunately don't speak French, but my wife is now fluent in English, which really reflects rather badly on me.

  Author: Sean Connery

• In Hawaii, we go to this wonderful place, all families. My wife and I go directly from breakfast to a beach chair where we read all day. My daughter goes from water to pool to running around with friends she meets, some of whom are regulars there.

  Author: Stephen Collins

• I've never yet met a man who could look after me. I don't need a husband. What I need is a wife.

  Author: Joan Collins

• Beckham? His wife can't sing and his barber can't cut hair.

  Author: Brian Clough

• I knew the term Stepford Wife, and I knew what that meant. I never read the book, and I think before I started filming I watched the movie. I thought it was very dated.

  Author: Glenn Close

• My plan after office is to get up and spend that entire first day helping my wife move into her new senatorial office.

  Author: William Clinton

• My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.

  Author: Winston Churchill

• My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

  Author: Winston Churchill

• If ever a man and his wife, or a man and his mistress, who pass nights as well as days together, absolutely lay aside all good breeding, their intimacy will soon degenerate into a coarse familiarity, infallibly productive of contempt or disgust.

  Author: Lord Chesterfield

• I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky.

  Author: Anton Chekhov

• Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.

  Author: Anton Chekhov

• Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.

  Author: Chanakya

• I was surprised that my wife thought it was a good idea, then again with my agent, another woman, then my editor, another woman - in spite of the fact that all three of them reacted positively I still have this fear.

  Author: Michael Chabon

• Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

  Author: Dan Castellaneta

• I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

  Author: Jimmy Carter

• I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

  Author: Frank Carson

• I find you write with one person in mind. Usually for me that one person is my wife, because she's my most severe critic and understands best what I'm trying to do.

  Author: Jonathan Carroll

• Talking to my wife, we stare at each other, saying, 'How is this happening? Why is this happening? Why now?' It's nothing I ever aspired to.

  Author: Steve Carell

• My friends all regarded me as a man of unsound mind because I held the view that my wife was with me in spirit always. I have lived with her spirit guiding me every day and she is with me now as I write this letter, and helps me to do as I am now doing.

  Author: Alex Campbell

• I am glad to go with my wife and baby boy.

  Author: Alex Campbell

• There's quite a lot of bad stuff written about me. My wife even says a lot of bad stuff about me. But she is wonderful.

  Author: Michael Caine

• Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.

  Author: Julius Caesar

• If you have your wife, and you are proud of something she's done, wouldn't you go and support her in something? That is what I was trying to do.

  Author: Gisele Bundchen

• My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.

  Author: Charles Browne

• My wife and I came to Canada for the 1994 Commonwealth Games and we really liked the B.C. lifestyle and environment. The following year we applied to become permanent residents. We moved here in 1996 after the Atlanta Olympics.

  Author: Jonathan Brown

• I got a wife who likes expensive things, so she takes all the cash.

  Author: James Brown

• I don't have friends, I have thousands of acquaintances. No friends. I figured I had a wife and children.

  Author: Charles Bronson

• I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English.

  Author: David Brainerd

• My wife says that my tombstone will read, 'Here lies Mr.C, who used to be Mr.B.' So I think that's probably what I'll be remembered for.

  Author: Tom Bosley

• He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

  Author: Victor Borge

• A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

  Author: James Boren

• People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

  Author: Erma Bombeck

• You only require two things in life: your sanity and your wife.

  Author: Tony Blair

• Once his wife goes to sleep it takes a minor nuclear explosion to wake her.

  Author: Tony Blair

• The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband.

  Author: William Blackstone

• I had pretty much raised my kids and my first wife and I were divorced, so I began, in earnest, to start my musical career again. Going for the big record deal and all of that.

  Author: Jimmy Black

• A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

  Author: Charles Baudelaire

• My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

  Author: John Barrymore

• Every man who is high up likes to think that he has done it all himself, and the wife smiles and lets it go at that.

  Author: James Barrie

• Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that.

  Author: J. Barrie

• I'd much rather be famous for being a fabulous bitch than being, She does that nice wife really well.

  Author: Christine Baranski

• Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that.

  Author: David Bailey

• He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.

  Author: Francis Bacon

• It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

  Author: Jane Austen

• Passion is the evil in adultery. If a man has no opportunity of living with another man's wife, but if it is obvious for some reason that he would like to do so, and would do so if he could, he is no less guilty than if he was caught in the act.

  Author: Saint Augustine

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